What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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