Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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