i just wanna soil my oats bro
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
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