let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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