I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
