What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
