I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Buhtt sex?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
