It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
