how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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