well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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