So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
