Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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