But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I supernannyed him into submission
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize