Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
one might say we're banned from that church
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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