I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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