I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
