Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
