bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
