don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
