I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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