It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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