When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
