She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Found your dick twin last night
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
