it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
