Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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