I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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