This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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