Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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