I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
