a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
