She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
