well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
