How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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