She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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