It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i now understand why vodka
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
