You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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