franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
