Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
a search helicopter?!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
