mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
