So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
