I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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