we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
