If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
