apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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