They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
