I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
