Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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