you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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