I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
