First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
