You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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