And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
