you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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