it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
