You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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