It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
