I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
