My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
it's great music for shaving your balls
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
