it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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