I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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