last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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