Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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