i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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