Midget sex pt 2 tonight
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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