Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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